Before we dive into understanding how to control your emotions it is important to know and understand that controlling emotions is not the same as ignoring, suppressing, or disregarding our emotions. Because the way controlling emotions has so many advantages, the same way sabotaging and ignoring your emotions can have many advert effects and can also result in more stress and trauma.
Why do we all need to learn how to control Your emotions?
Emotional intelligence is also a part of being able to understand and control your emotions. And Being able to control our emotions is not less than any superpower because if we don’t learn how to control your emotions we experience a lot more failures, problems, and issues because at those moments when we let our emotions control us instead of taking control of our emotions, we give in and make bad decisions we might regret later or hurt other people as a result.
- Out of control stress levels especially emotional stress
- Difficulty concentrating
- Adverse events in life can feel and be more traumatic
- Unfulfilling relationships and family life
This is not just it, people who don’t learn how to control your emotions experience the effect even on their Physical health. If you can recall a moment when you felt extremely sad and emotionally hurt, you’ll notice that you also experienced that pain physically and you actually fell ill.
And when you recall the incident that caused all that emotional pain you might notice that you could have avoided the whole situation or tackled it differently then you wouldn’t have ended up being hurt. Because a lot of the time the quarrels and situations that we experience are 90% times caused by how we feel in those moments without being able to control our emotions and that is why it is so important to learn how to control your emotions.
- Increased emotional intelligence
- Less stress and a lot more freedom
- Best regulated emotions
- improved performance in school and work
- Financial success
- Improved social life
- More fulfilling relationships
- Mental and emotional well-being
- Superpower to manifest everything fast with emotions
But to be actually able to experience all these benefits of learning how to control your emotions, you will need to be clear and sure about understanding, accepting, and then learning how to control emotion. So that you can make sure you are not sabotaging or ignoring or suppressing your emotions. Because if you are then it will just do the opposite.
The benefits of being able to control and regulate emotions such as well-being, improved income, social status, performance in study or at work, is also backed by two studies published in December 2010 by PubMed Central. This study also talks about the result of suppressing emotions as decline in success and finances, as we talked about earlier here.
Here Are Some Ways You Can Use To Control And Regulate Emotion
Caution: Keep in mind that all these points are a guide to help you learn how to control your emotions and regulate them better are not psychologically backed solutions. So if you are going through major anger issues or anxiety attacks or any mental disorder then consider visiting a counselor or a psychologist before you start applying these suggestions to regulate or control your emotions.
1. Understand And Embrace Your Emotions
The starting step in learning how to control your emotions is always going to be understanding and embracing your emotions because if you can’t understand what you are feeling then how you will be able to control how you are feeling. Trying to control and regulate how you feel without actually understanding and embracing your emotions is a lot like following a map without knowing the destination.
To understand your emotions take a look at the impact of your emotions on your day-to-day life and your behavior. And how your emotions are regulating and influencing your behavior and decision-making. Also, pay attention to your emotional triggers and your emotional responses, and how you handle them. Also, take a note of how your emotions are getting in the way of your ideal lifestyle.
When you get to know and understand your emotions, you will be able to embrace them and not ignore them. And embracing the emotions means simply feeling them and not reacting based on those emotions without suppressing them.
The second step in how to control your emotions is Self-talk because self-talk is essential. And it’s also the first step to practicing and increasing emotional intelligence. The self-talk we are talking about here is the positive and critical self-talk. And not the negative hurtful self-talk. The more positively and kindly you talk to yourself the more emotionally stable and intelligent you become.
But that’s not the only way self-talk is going to help you. The Kinder you will become to yourself the more your self-worth will increase and your confidence will increase. And you will also learn to not see yourself from other people’s perspectives instead you’ll start to see from your own point of view. In fact, it will incredibly change your personality and affect your relationships and social life & status way more positively.
And do you know that self-talk is also a manifestation tool? And whatever good things you are talking about to yourself and telling yourself on a daily basis they will come true. So when you are practicing self-talk as a tool to control and regulate your emotions you are also manifesting great things and better experiences in your life.
3. Handling Emotional Outbursts
Emotions come in waves and it is always easy to handle the subtle waves or when your emotions are on a level. But the difficulty hits when you are faced with a huge wave of emotions. The state of mind becomes so fragile that we lose the sense of what is right or wrong or what needs to be done. It is so easy to lose sight of practicality and the sensitivity of a situation when you are hit with a huge high wave of emotion.
So it is important to understand that we are in the process of learning something. Understand that you are just learning how to control your emotions and you will have to be considerate. Because suppressing your emotions is not just going to harm you but also the others around you.
Many people tend to suppress and resent their emotions in such situations because they think that they are controlling their emotions but they are not actually controlling and regulating their emotions instead suppressing and resenting them, which will lead to another negative emotional impact.
So what is the solution? The solution is practice and mindfulness. Because you are learning how to control your emotions you will have to be thoughtful and practice and have faith in the process without being Harsh on yourself. The more you will practice the better you will become at regulating and controlling your emotions. And over time the hit of high emotional waves will become less impactful. It’s not like you can become a master of emotions in a day, it will take time. And you can practice mindfulness during that period of time.
How To Practice Controlling Emotions?
We just talked about giving time and practicing while you are learning how to control your emotions. So these are the things you can do to practice regulating and controlling your emotions as you are in the process of how to control your emotions.
Practice listening to others: When you are listening to others try to pay attention to how it is making you feel, especially during difficult conversations. And when you are listening to others without judgment or presumptions, you will notice that the initial emotions you felt whether anger, distress, or sadness. It fades away as you listen more and understanding, empathy replaces that emotion.
Practice doing Self-Care Tasks you dread: Self-care is an important step in learning how to control your emotions. Things that you avoid because you feel a certain type of way about that self-care task. For example: making better every single day, cooking healthy meals at home, going to work out every day, adopting new habits that can be beneficial for you but you feel that it is a lot for you. Taking breaks from work, study, or anything.
It is all part of self-care but we avoid them because they make us feel a certain emotion we don’t want to feel. And these emotions are not as strong as to affect mental health. And we can practice regulating these to achieve certain outcomes. And when we start to see the result it motivates and empowers us and the process becomes easier over time.
Final thoughts on controlling emotion and practicing practically
The point of learning how to control your emotions and being able to control and regulate them, all comes down to being able to live a quality life that is fulfilling. So if you want to feel everything and don’t want to regulate or control your emotions and it makes you feel like you are losing a part of yourself then don’t do it. Learning how to control your emotions is not meant to be a painful process so if it is feeling like one then give yourself time or don’t do it because maybe you don’t need it in the first place.
And if you want to learn how to control your emotions as a step to move forward in your life and explore the possibilities of more success and a more fulfilling social life, fulfilling relationships, and family life then you should and no second thought should stop you from that.
Khushboo Pandey is Hindi Literature Post Graduate. She picked up the hobby of writing blogs during her graduation years but never took blogging seriously until 2022. She Belives in the power of affirmations & subliminal and never holds back from sharing information with honesty.